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But I could not keep my eyes open, so back to sleep went.
I continued to sleep until the contractions were strong enough to wake me up.
The last time I had been hospitalized, my mother was afraid I was going to end up in the psych ward, because I just could not handle it and I freaked out.
Toward the end, I did bite down on a towel with the contractions.My mother gifted me a book, and honestly I don't know if she thought much of the gesture. She had read the book only after having her first 3 children in hospitals, and had never really conquered her own fears of birthing.That book is the reason I never had any fears to overcome.It was like riding waves of intense energy and I was blown away at my own strength- this was my own body, after all. Once everyone had themselves and their things together (her father, my mother and my best friend), I climbed out of the tub, donned a nightgown and we went out to the car.I almost panicked when I had to some how sit on the seat of the car- I could not physically sit.
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My husband, her father, turned out not to be very good at fulfilling either of those roles.